My Baby is 5!

I can 't believe it. On Christmas Eve my sweet little girl turned 5!!!!

Happy Birthday Baby!

Merry Christmas!

Yeah...I know. I'm late. What's new? Haha! I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday whatever you celebrate.

We had a really great Christmas. My Mom and Dad, my sister-in-law Teresa, my niece and nephew Garrett & Logan, my Father and Mother in-law and my little brother Jason were all here for Christmas morning. I am so blessed that my family and my in-law family all get along. My children get the benefit of sharing the holiday with both of their sets of grandparents with the exception of Thomas' mother who lives in Virginia.

It is wonderful.

I have lots to blog about...sorry I have been out of the loop so to speak for so long but I am hoping to catch up on my blog reading and writing. I have lots of ideas for blog posts and some things that I have been meaning to post about but just haven't gotten the chance to do it yet. What can I say...life has been very hectic. And it has been getting to me. Stay posted. Pretty soon things will be posted. :)

Princesses DO Wear Glasses!!!!!

and Patches too.

We visited the eye doctor in August and Isabelle's lazy eye has gotten stronger, but the other eye has gotten weaker. So now we have to patch. We are patching for 2 hours a day. When the doctor told us that she would have to wear a patch she got very excited. She wanted me to put her patch on right then. When we got home and I got the chance to put her patch on she realized quickly that she did NOT like it. It has been like pulling teeth every single day since then to get her to wear the patch. She has been doing better with her glasses though.




After our appointment last April I bought her new glasses because her prescription had become much stronger. I let her pick out her new glasses and of course she picked out a pink pair. They look adorable and she really likes them.





On another note...to all of the parents out there that found this blog looking for something to help their little princesses become more at ease with their glasses there is hope!





A while back I was contacted by Pam Calvert. She is an author that has written a book called "Princess Peepers" and it is about a little princess that wears glasses. It was due out on September 1. I haven't gotten a chance to see the book yet. I should have gone over to Border's today to check it out. It seems to be on sale at Borders, Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, and Amazon (according to my online search). I can't wait to get my hands on it and read it with Isabelle.



Pam was kind enough to allow me to post a link to her website and the website for the book. She also sent along some pictures from the book and of her own little princess reading it. Enjoy!!!


This first picture is of Pam (the author) and her little Princess!

First Day of School

She wasn't excited at all. Can you tell?

Isabelle started her first day of Pre-K on Monday. She is at a new school. It was a really hard decision for Thomas and I to make. We had to decide weather to send her back to our Church Pre-school program for a 4 day, half day program or to send her to a lottery funded 5 day all day pre-k. We decided to go with the lottery funded pre-k for a few different reasons.

When we were getting close to pre-k I started to get excited because where I am from all of the lottery funded pre-k programs are run through the school system. Or at least they were when my nephew went though the program about 9 years ago. To me that meant that there was a possibility of a school nurse being there and that made me feel a little more comfortable. As I started the process of researching the pre-k programs in our area I found out that they are all in day care centers. I couldn't believe it. After calling the 2 centers closest to our house I found out that one of them had experience with Type 1. My goal was to get her into that program. Long story short, she ended up on their waiting list. I was bummed. I went ahead and secured her a position in our church pre-school that she has been in since she was 2.

Then when the kids were at my Mom's at the end of May I was driving past a lottery funded pre-k program that had a sign out front that said that they were enrolling. Not to mention that just under that sign they were advertising that they were NAEYC Accredited. I went in and looked around and talked to the Director and the Owner and signed her up. That is where she is now.

I went in the week before school started to meet with her teacher and her assistant teacher and to train everyone on what they would need to do to take care of Isabelle. This is the first time I have had to 'train' anyone on how to give Isabelle insulin and how to use our pump.

The meeting went well, but I could sense some apprehension. But I had to keep remembering that ANYONE would feel apprehension when they were learning how to take care of a child with d. God knows I did. They asked me to come to school with her the first day so that I would be there to work everything out. I agreed to do that but also warned them that I might have to bring Alex with me as babysitters are few and far between. Oh yeah...the director made a comment during the meeting that she didn't think that licensing would allow them to give insulin. I said that they would have to. The one thing that makes the whole situation more difficult is that they feed the children while they are there. Two snacks and lunch.

The first day went pretty well. One of my mommy friends B. kept Alex for me for the entire day. Thank you B!!! That definitely made things easier. I went in with her and we got started. Isabelle liked her new friends. I went and met with the women who prepares the food. I took the menu (they actually gave it to me when I signed her up) and we went over it together. I figured out carb counts as closely as I could and copied it for everyone. I walked her teachers through checking her finger and giving her boluses that day. Everything seemed to be working out OK, but when we came in from playing outside before lunch they missed Isabelle saying that she was very tired and hungry. That is Izzy speak for I am LOW. I had told them this verbally and in writing at our meeting. I told them that they needed to go ahead and check her now instead of waiting the 10 minutes until lunch. They did and she was low. We treated her and everything was fine. It did bug me that they didn't notice her feeling tired and hungry.

After that first day I told Isabelle that she would have to make sure that if she felt bad at all that she needed to take one of her teachers by the hand and tell them that she was not feeling well so that they could check her finger. She said that she would, but who wants to give a 4 year old that kind of responsibility? One of the things that I hate the most about D is that it makes my little girl grow up more quickly in ways that I don't want her to.

The second day was really her first day without Mommy. It went great!!! Ms. R. and I have quickly developed a system of her calling me whenever she checks Isabelle. That way I can help her decided how much insulin to give her and she gets confirmation on what she is doing so that she doesn't mess anything up (her words not mine).

Izzy has been in school for 4 days now and it is going really great! The teachers have had to handle a couple of lows and they did really great. I feel much more relaxed then I have in I don't even remember how long. I have spent my days with Alex which I think has helped me feel more relaxed because I feel that he is finally getting some of the mommy time that he has not been able to have because of Izzy having D. When she was in the church pre-school she was only there 3 days a week and only there 4 hours out of the day. We had so many problems last year that we ended up spending a LOT of time at the school so he really didn't get much time with me. That has all changed.

Now that I am a bit more relaxed maybe I will be able to get back to blogging on a semi-regular basis.

Snips and Snails and Puppydog tails

I grew up the middle of three children and the only girl. I was a tomboy, but as I grew I came to realize that boys are gross. They tend to get dirtier then girls, they always seem to 'accidentally' get yucky stuff everywhere. It was my experience that when you are sharing a bathroom with a boy there are going to be boogers and pee somewhere.

Alex is such a sweet little guy. Imagine my amazement when I realized that he is a stinky boy! LOL!

I went into his room the other afternoon to wake him up because I needed to pick Izzy up from school. He was hard to wake up and looked like he really wanted to stay asleep. I rolled him over and started to change his diaper. He passed some gas and we both laughed. I got his pants off and started removing his diaper. As soon as I got the diaper off he tooted again. This one really surprised me and because he had not pooped yet, it alarmed me. I jumped. Alex thought this was hilarious. We both ended up laughing.

Then comes the stinky boy part. He said "Watch this Mommy!" I saw his little body tense up and the little booger pooted at will! Then he did it again 3 more times! Geez...if he can do this at 2 what will he be like at 13????

Oh yeah...shouldn't I get bonus points for how many different words I used for passing gas? LOL!

Sweet nothings in my ear

My mornings have changed a little with the kids. Izzy wakes up and she usually comes and cuddles with me until we hear Alex. Then she runs in and lets him out of his room. Sometimes she just goes straight there.

This morning Izzy stopped by Alex's room and let him out before coming into my room. Alex was the first to wake me. He jumped up onto the bed next to me and put his head down on me in a hug. Then he said, "Hi Mommy! You look beautiful! I love you!"

So incredibly sweet. What a way to start the day.

Pumps are Ggggrrrreeeaaattt!

We finally got started on our pump. We choose the Omni Pod for Isabelle because it did not have any tubing and it seemed to offer everything else that we wanted in a pump.

We started a saline start on June 16 and then we went in on June 20 to do the insulin start. The saline start went smoothly. We had a good time learning the pump during the week and Isabelle didn't complain too much when we had to change the pod and believe it or not she didn't even complain about the insertion. She calls it the scary tickle because you never know when it is going to happen. She does not however like having to take the old pod off. It seems that removing the sticky tape that holds the pod on is the biggest issue. She says that it hurts.

When we were at the endo's office doing the insulin start Isabelle pitched the biggest fit because we had to take the old pod off and put a new one on. She did NOT like it and the whole office heard about it. It reminded me of our early days on insulin shots. I practically had to hold her down to get the new pod on her. We left the office feeling really excited and hopeful. But, I was dreading having to be up all night. We were told that we would have to check her BS's every 2 hours for the first 24 hours on the pump and then every 4 hours the second day on the pump including throughout the night.

I had planned to do something special with Isabelle to commemorate the new pump. She decided that she wanted to go to Krispy Kreme and watch them make donuts and have one. So off we went to KK. When we were at the endo's office she was in the low 200's. Nice number considering the major screaming and fit that was thrown. By the time we got to KK her blood sugar was in the low 300's. Still not too bad considering the emotions of the afternoon. So we bolused for the donut and the high and went home to give Daddy-O and Alex their donuts.

I decided to go to the mall and let the kids play in the fountain to kind of wind down the day. When we made it to the fountain I checked her BS to make sure that she wasn't low because she had a big bolus. Nope. Not a chance. She was in the low 400's. I checked for keytones, but luckily none. I decided to let her play and gave her lots of water. When we were leaving I checked her again. She was still in the low 400's. I bolused her again.

We get home and it was about 3 hours after we left the endo's office. I was trying not to freak out. It was time for dinner so I was in the process of making her a hotdog when my cell phone rang. It was Nurse T. from the endo's office just checking in on us. I have never been so relieved to hear from someone in my life! I was totally trying not to freak out and Thomas had been in a car accident the evening before and was upstairs asleep so I was on my own. T walked me through everything. And we decided to wait for another hour to see if she would come down or not. I was thinking at this point that I needed to change that pod. We finally decided an hour later to change the pod because obviously there was no insulin getting through. Amidst much shrieking and crying we got the pod changed, a bath, and she finally fell asleep. She was still in the 400's. After checking her every hour for the next three hours we were still not seeing any signs of the pump working. I was totally freaking out. T was calling to check in every hour. We finally decided around midnight that the pod was going to have to be disconnected and we were going to have to give her shots. So at midnight I was giving her Humalog and Lantus. She finally came down around 3 am. I can't believe that she made it through the night with no keytones. Towards the end of the night she was at moderate, but by the morning she was negative.

I was so incredibly nervous and feeling very discouraged. I didn't know what to do. We decided to just take a break from the pump on Saturday and try again either Saturday evening or Sunday.

Saturday came and we were having to give shots. Late in the afternoon we put on a new pod in a new spot. It worked! Later that evening I picked up the owner's manual to read over it again to see if there was something that we missed. It suggested pinching up the skin around the pod before insertion. Especially when being placed on a spot that is lean. Duh! I don't know how we missed that the first time through the book or if they mentioned it at the endo's how we missed it then. Izzy is lean everywhere. When we did our next pod change I pinched and it worked.

I think that from Friday night to Monday night I got maybe 8 hours of sleep. I'm still trying to catch up. Thomas let me get in a long nap yesterday so that has helped enormously.

The biggest problem that we are having now is that when we change a pod her numbers are going high. I think we might have gotten it figured out though. Now when I know that we are going to change a pod I give her a double bolus of her basel dosage. That has seemed to do the trick.

Isabelle is doing really great with her pump. She loves it. She has decided that she likes it much better then shots. By the time of our 4th pod change she quit screaming and complaining. Now she says that she is ready for the tickle and she is not scared anymore. She is soooo brave!!! I can't believe that she has done so well. One evening she was having some ice cream and Thomas told her that she could have more ice cream because she had a pump now. That seemed to change how she felt about the pump.

Izzy's BS numbers have been really great. It is amazing how much the pump has done for that. It has also relaxed our lives a great deal. I no longer have to stop whatever I am doing to sit down with a paper and calculator and figure out what she needs for her insulin. It makes a huge difference to just put in how many carbs she has eaten and push a button.

So, overall, even with the craziness at the beginning it is really great. We are really happy with the Omni Pod. We have had some issues with the pod falling off. But, I dare say that most of that is due to having a very active preschooler. She is learning to be more careful with it. The first week she pulled one off when she slid into a chair. It was on her lower back and just popped off part of it. The cannula stayed in so I just taped it onto her until we could get home and change it. Today she was playing with me and trying to run from me and knocked the entire pod off after hitting the wall. I guess that we have been lucky that on the days that she has had a pod fall off it has been a day to change the pod anyway. We also had an issue with the water and the pod. Seems we were only supposed to allow her to be in the water for 30 minutes at a time. I remember the cde telling me that but for some reason it went in one ear and out the other. So, it fell off. But, we won't let that happen again. :) Live and learn.

Sorry this post has been so long and crazy. I have been trying to find the time to post and have just been so exhausted from loosing so much sleep that I haven't done it.

Craziness

I have sooooo much to blog about diabetes wise, but to be honest I just don't have the words or the energy to find them.

Suffice it to say that starting on the pump did not go smoothly. Things are getting better, but I'm guarded. I will try to sit down tomorrow after I have dealt with the aftermath of a weekend without housework and write all of my thoughts down.

Finally, a MeMe post

Penny tagged me a while ago, and I have never gotten around to it. So here it is.

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person that tagged you, so since you’re not allowed to tag me back; let me know when you are done so I can go read YOUR weird, random, facts, habits and goals. Have fun!


1. I used to be a portrait photographer. But, I rarely take pictures of my kids. I guess I'm kinda lazy that way.

2. We have the coolest new park near our house. It seriously makes me want to be a kid again.

3. I am a horrible housekeeper.

4. My favorite flavor is raspberry.

5. I cannot stand to go to bed without brushing my teeth.

6. The music from Final Fantasy X makes me want to scream. Literally. Ask my husband.

7. I am addicted to Guiding Light and I have been since spending the summer with my Lanny when I was in 3rd grade.

8. Before I had children I was actually quite intelligent. Lately I feel like all I use my brain for is counting carbs and figuring out how much insulin to give.

9. I love chic lit books. Anything that takes me out of my normal life and makes me not think too much is awesome.

10. I used to be a Resident Advisor in college.

Ok. That's about it. Off to tag some more people.

The Final Frontier

I knew it was coming. I just kept hoping it would take a while longer.

When you are going through motherhood for the first time you can't wait for your child to hit those major milestones. You know the ones, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking, and da da da daaaaaaa...opening the door knobs. As a second time mom I have found myself not really wanting to rush things. Alex has hit all of the major milestones so far, but not the final one until today.

He now OPENS DOORKNOBS! Eeeekkkkk!!!! This was my last defense. Thomas told me yesterday that that he did it like 3 times, but he didn't do it for me until today. And he did it numerous times. It's so funny that he is sooooo late in this milestone because Isabelle did it before she turned 2. Actually it took her like 2 evenings after we took the side off of her crib. We took the side off of Alex's crib in January. It's now May. I was secretly hoping that it wouldn't happen.

Now I am looking forward to him not wanting to stay in his room when it is time to take a nap or go to bed. He can also get into my hiding places (the laundry room and the closet) without the help of his older sister. And let's not forget the bathrooms. He has been obsessed for some time with flushing the toilet so we have kept the bathroom doors closed so that he can't get in there and flush the toilet numerous times. We are in the middle of a drought so we have water restrictions and I REALLY don't want to have to pay extra money because we have gone over our normal water usage. So far he hasn't tried to get out of his room when he wasn't supposed to. I actually think that it hasn't crossed his mind yet that he can open his door and leave when he wants to. We'll see how long that lasts.

Finger Love

I went and picked the kids up today from Alabama. By the end of our trip poor little Alex had had enough of being in his car seat. He started crying and whining and every time I had to stop at a light of slow down and would say "Go Go Go!!!!". He finally woke Izzy up who actually fell asleep. When she woke up she was trying to get him to calm down and quit crying. I suggested that she hold his hand as that might calm him down.

She reached over and took his hand. He of course quit crying.

Then she said, "Momma, when I hold his hand I feel love coming all the way from my fingers to my heart!"

So sweet!!!

Mommy's Vacation

I got my first vacation from Diabetes this week. My Mom and Dad volunteered to take Isabelle and Alex for a few days. I took them over there on Friday and came back home alone on Sunday. It's so strange how quiet that drive is when you are by yourself.

I got to have dinner with my hubby and we actually made it to the movies. Without the children. It was really nice. I got to relax and do whatever I wanted to do and I got to eat anything I wanted whenever I wanted without worrying about carb counts and weather or not Isabelle would want some if she saw it. I slept in late every morning.

I definitely missed the kids, but I really needed the break. It was the first time that Alex was away from us for any length of time since he has been old enough to understand. He did really great! He didn't even cry for me. I think he was too busy making Pawpaw walk him all the way up Booger Hill. Isabelle also did really well. She said that she missed me and my Mom said that she asked about me a couple of times, but all in all she did really great.

The only thing that really bugs me is that my parents say that her behavior was really great. Even though she had some highs while she was over there. When she is with me, she often has major meltdowns and screaming fits when her blood sugars are out of whack. None of that for Meme and Pawpaw though. Makes me realize that she can control her temper when she wants too. I guess this summer is going to be lots of fun for us.

Pumping it up

Thomas and I finished our classes tonight that we need to do to get Isabelle on the pump. We will order our pump this Friday. We are going to get an Omnipod. Everyone is looking forward to it including Isabelle.

We got a trial pod and tried it on Isabelle. The first one that we put on stayed on for a little over 24 hours. Then something strange happened. I realized that the strange buzzing sound was coming from the pump. After talking to the pump rep we found out that the ones that they give out to use for trials are pumps that have been found defective in some way. And when an omnipod isn't working they buzz like that. It took me about 4 hours after I first noticed the noise to realize that it was the pump. By that time I had the absolute worst headache I have had in years. So we took that one off.

The second pump lasted for the normal 3 days. Isabelle did a really great job with it. She loved wearing it and showing it to everyone. We are very hopeful. Now I am really anxious to see how she does with the insertion. I hope it goes well.

So we will be pumping it up within the next month or so. As it works out Izzy has an Endo appointment on Friday and since I have all of the needed homework already done we are going to go ahead and order our pump on Friday. We are all really excited. Wish us luck.

Evel Knievel Rides Again

Alex has been quite the crazy child lately. Still a complete sweetie, but just trying his luck with everything.

A week ago Friday he fell as he was running to play with Isabelle and ran into the corner of the wall. He had the biggest goose egg. If he had hit it any harder we would have been at the ER getting stitches. He still had the bruise over a week later. The same day he dropped something heavy on his foot and left a huge bruise. Later that day he slammed his fingers in a door. Not his best day.

A couple of days after that I went up to get him up from a nap that wasn't happening and found him sitting in the TOP DRAWER of his dresser. I almost peed my pants! We have since put latches on the dresser so hopefully that is done.

On Saturday, the kids and I were at my Mom and Dad's house in Alabama. They have a few riding toys (the battery powered kind) for the kids. We had finished playing when them and put them up on the porch to plug them in and get re-charged. The kids and I were on the porch playing while my Dad and Mom were getting ready to take everyone on a boat ride. The porch is about 3 feet off of the ground with no railing around it. I was getting up to help Isabelle with something when Alex got on the little motorcycle that they have. I immediately started towards him and was yelling for him to get off of the motorcycle.

Then, accidentally his little foot hit the gas and the motorcycle took off with him on it. He rode the dang thing off of the porch!!!! I hate it when things like this happen. They seem to happen in slow motion and you can NEVER get there in time to prevent it from happening. I saw it all in slow mo...he had a look of terror on his little face as I was running toward him screaming for him to stop. First the front wheel went off of the porch. Then the back wheels caught on the pavement and he went flying off of the porch. His little chest/tummy hit the steering column and then he flipped over the handle bars and got hung on the handle bars by his shirt.

That is where he was when I got to him. He was crying and scared. But, remarkably, completely unharmed!!!! The lucky little booger! Not even a bruise. I can't believe it. It will be a miracle if he makes it to 3 without an ER visit. Evel Knievel eat your heart out.

Inspector Blood

Isabelle loves to make believe. She is always asking Thomas and I to be different characters. Today she came up with a new character. It is called Inspector Blood.

She has drawn pictures and asked me to write what she said so that it is a book. Inspector Blood is the person that checks her blood sugar. Namely Mommy. Isn't that funny?

New Izzyism

My Mom is here. We LOVE it when Meme comes. The whole house is different.

One afternoon this week Mom was hanging out with Isabelle while I was typing away on my computer and Izzy wanted to watch Sleeping Beauty. Mom, like me, wanted to take a nap. She said that she would lay down on the couch and be Sleeping Beauty.

Isabelle then said: "You can't be Sleeping Beauty. You have CRINKLES on your face! I can be Sleeping Beauty because my face is smooth."

When Mom and I stopped laughing we tried to explain to her that 'crinkles' had to be earned and that they are a badge of honor. :)

I don't think that she believed us.

To pump or not to pump...

That is the question. Hubby and I are going to a pump information night on Tuesday. This is the first step that we have to go through to get Isabelle on the pump. We are still not sure if that is what we want to do or if she will even want to do it once she understands all that is involved.

We have some friends at church that have a teen aged daughter that has D. They are all wonderful and the daughter (as well as the mother) have taken a lot of time with us and with Isabelle talking about their experiences. The daughter is on the pump and also on a continuous glucose monitoring system. She has shown them to all of us and answered many questions about it. After talking to her, Isabelle said she wanted a pump. And it seems that after we have seen them on Sunday she asks for a pump more often.

I have to admit that I was all for the pump. Then I saw a video on U-Tube of a little girl getting her site changed. I'm not so sure anymore. We have gotten rather comfortable in our little world of insulin injections. Isabelle has been doing really great with her shots lately. She rarely cries anymore and doesn't run from us as often. I just don't know if I can deal with anymore crazy upsets about insulin. I know that after she gets used to it it would be easier. You only have to change a site about every 3 days. You have to give insulin shots at least 4 times a day.

I am also thinking that it would help us get more control with her blood sugars. But, I actually had an endo tell us that that is not always true. So, all of you moms of D kids and people with D, what do you think? Why did you decide to pump or not to pump? Love to hear some feedback.

Hodge Podge

I haven't been posting lately. I just haven't felt like it. Our lives have been busy. We had a week away at the beach. That was fun, but diabetes was there with us every day. Izzy's blood sugars were in the 300's most of the time we were there. We made some changes.

Since then her blood sugars have been almost perfect. It has been nice not to feel so worried about her blood sugars. It is always nice when diabetes is not the main thing that we think about all day long. But, the last couple of days she has been running high again and I completely forgot for the last two days to send her blood sugars in to the endo's office to get some feedback about them.

The little break from high blood sugars and then their subsequent return have me thinking a lot about how all of this effects Isabelle. She has major emotional outbursts when she is high or low or dropping or rising quickly. It is almost impossible to deal with. As a parent my first instinct is to use time out to deal with the outbursts and the misbehaving. Then I realize that she is low/high and then I start to wonder if I am doing the right thing. I hate that diabetes makes me do a double take almost daily about my parenting abilities. I really hate not knowing what to do. I really, really, really hate how diabetes changes my daughter. When she is high or low she is mean and belligerent. She calls me names and yells at me. She has even started telling me that she doesn't love me. She says I am mean.

I know that this is a normal part of childhood. I know that most if not every child goes through this with their parents. It just really pisses me off that I don't have my sweet wonderful girl every day. One of my fellow d-bloggers posted about this a few days ago. His post really made me think about it. http://eyesrubbed.blogspot.com/2008/04/life-is-good.html

I have begun going to a JDRF support group in my area. When Izzy was first diagnosed there wasn't one. It has really been helpful. I have met some really wonderful women there. So far everyone that I have met has been a Mom of a child with diabetes. Last week I met a Mom of a 4 year old who has just recently been diagnosed. I was soooo glad to meet her and her daughter. I told Isabelle about it and she is really looking forward to meeting the little girl. It is a little sad just how excited she is about meeting another girl her age that has this crazy disease. She was literally jumping up and down. Another fellow d-blogger spoke about this on her blog recently. http://tnmtcur.blogspot.com/2008/04/marc-recently-requested-sample-omnipod.html I can't even imagine what it will be like for Isabelle to talk to another child who is her same age that is having to deal with this disease the same way that she is. I know that for me, as a mother, it is so exciting to meet another mother who is going through the same things that I am. It really helps to talk to someone who is walking in similar shoes.

Our First Anniversary

Our first anniversary. I never thought a whole year would pass. In some ways it passed quickly. The children are growing way too fast and I see and feel that passing by way too quickly. On the other hand I remember what happened 1 year ago today. 1 year ago today our lives changed forever.

I don't think that I will forget that day for as long as I live. As soon as the doctor walked into the room I knew something was really, really wrong. I could tell by his face. Those words. The words that came out of his mouth. How I wish he could have been wrong. "Isabelle has Diabetes. You are going to have to take her to the Emergency Room." Just that simple. He should have said...'By the way, your entire life is going to change and you are going to have to stick needles in your child at least 4 times a day not to mention checking her blood sugar via finger pricks every two hours.' That would have been more to the point. Of course I bet he was just trying to get out of the room without making me cry. I still remember calling my husband and telling him what was going on and where to meet us. I remember calling my Mom and asking her to please get in the car (although she had just gotten home after a trip herself) and come over so that someone could be there to take care of Alex. I remember calling Sheila and telling her what was going on. I still remember coming home and hurriedly packing a bag for myself, my husband and Isabelle for a stay in the hospital for at least a few days; the whole time worrying that I was taking too long. I still remember the frantic drive to the children's hospital with two sick children in the car. I remember calling one of the mom's from my mom's group and asking her to post and tell everyone what was going on. I remember getting to the hospital emergency room and being extremely thankful that my husband was there and that they had valet parking. I still remember that Isabelle fell asleep on the ride to the hospital and I didn't know if I should wake her up or let her sleep. I also remember that when Thomas took Izzy out of her car seat she had peed in her pants. I remember being glad that she was asleep because she would have been really upset about that. I remember thinking that I would never remember all of the information that they were throwing at us.

I'm sure there's more, but I'm sure if you have read this far you are tired of reading. :)

I wasn't really sure what to expect of our first anniversary. Things have gotten easier. Taking care of Isabelle is more automatic then it was a year ago. I hope that with more time it will get even more automatic. We'll see what the future brings.

I told Isabelle what today was and I asked her if she remembered not having diabetes. She told me that she did. She also said that she remembers the nice nurse that gave her the yellow care bear. We went out to eat at Moe's tonight for our anniversary.

A year and a day ago...

One year ago yesterday we spent our time doing whatever we wanted. If we wanted to go to the park we went. We were not ruled by a clock or by a schedule. We did not know about counting carbs or about Humalog or Lantus. We didn't know about the Red Glucagon kit. We didn't know about blood sugar meters.

Boy...how things have changed.

Princesses DON'T Wear Glasses!

Every time my daughter chooses to dress up like Aurora I am told that, "Princesses DON'T wear glasses!" My first reaction was to reassure Isabelle that princesses wear glasses when they need glasses. Over the last couple of weeks as the princess phase has begun full force I have been told that NO princesses wear glasses. We have begun having battles over Izzy wearing her glasses. I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I usually relent when she is playing dress up, but her lazy eye seems to be getting worse and at our last visit the doctor talked about patching. So, I have really been pushing the glasses. I relaxed for a week or two. I only MADE her wear them when we were out and about or when she was going to school. When she was home she didn't have to wear them. Then I started to see the crossing again. So...back in the glasses as much as possible.

After really thinking about what Isabelle had said I went over all of the princesses that I know of. She is right! Princesses don't wear glasses. I don't even think that in all of the Disney Princess movies that we have (Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid) not one person other then men are wearing glasses. What kind of a message does that send to our little girls. I have tried reasoning with her explaining that she is beautiful in her glasses and that it is much better to be able to see then not to see. She doesn't budge. She has almost cried on some mornings as we are getting ready to go to school and I make her put them on. She wants to be beautiful. She says that her glasses make her look cute, not beautiful. This child has always been told from day one that she is beautiful and we have done our utmost to build and encourage her self esteem. But glasses seem to be some sort of a stumbling block.

I spoke with a friend of mine today and she suggested that I Google princesses wearing glasses. I got a couple of interesting blog posts and a really cool website that sells t-shirts saying "Have you ever seen a Princess in glasses before? Well here I am!" http://www.cafepress.com/bjortandcompany

But, I still haven't found any princesses that are wearing glasses. So, Disney...where are you? Why can't you make a princess wear glasses? How about all of you children's authors out there? No princess in glasses??? What is going on? Do I have to write my own book, have it published and write my own movie, get it animated and printed? Please let me know if any of you reading this knows of any cool princesses that wear glasses. It just seems to be one more thing that sets my sweet princess apart. I want her to know that she is beautiful just the way she is...glasses, diabetes and all.

Lost social skills

It has come to my attention that I have spent the last year really, really caught up in my own life. As a side effect of this I have lost most of my social skills. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hiding under a rock nor have I completely stopped conversing with people. It just seems that most of the people that I have the chance to speak to on a regular basis are under 4 feet tall or are people who are selling me things. That doesn't lead to a whole lot of back and forth conversation. I think that I have lost the art of conversing like an adult.

A couple of months ago I met up with an old friend. It was way overdue. She didn't even know about Isabelle's diagnosis. Between dealing with and chasing children we ended up talking mostly about Izzy and what our life has been like A.D. (after diagnosis). I didn't even take the opportunity to ask her about her new house, what she has been up to lately, or her husband's new job. Completely just talked about myself. The really horrible part of all of it is that I didn't even notice until a couple of days later when I had a few minutes to myself.

So, a couple of weeks later I ran in to another friend. I said hello and asked how she was. You know, the kind of asking that everyone does when you start a conversation. Really just a how is everything not really a 'So really, HOW ARE YOU?' kind of thing. She then did ask how Izzy was doing and how I was doing. We ended our conversation shortly thereafter. As I was driving home I realized that I had done it again. I hadn't even asked how her children were! I realized then that I had completely lost my social skills.

So here is my heartfelt apology. To all of my friends and family out there. If I have offended you or hurt your feelings in any way please forgive me. I am really working on it. I'm trying to get better at asking about what is going on in your lives. Try me again soon. Hopefully you will see some improvement.

Wishing Stars

As I was reading Isabelle a story at bedtime tonight she was looking through a small box of play jewelry that she had. She pulled out a couple of plastic stars that used to be part of a bracelet. She handed one to me.

Izzy: Mommy, you can wish on this star

Me: (in a hurry because it was late) Ok. I closed my eyes and acted like I was making a wish.

Izzy: Mommy, you need to make a wish that my diabetes will be done.

Me: That's a great idea. I wish that Isabelle's diabetes was cured and that all of the children and adults in the world who have diabetes would be cured too.

Izzy: Mommy, my diabetes is gone!!!! Thank you for that wish.

Izzy: Now you be my friend with diabetes. You tell me that your diabetes is gone too.

Me-Pretending to be C. from church: Isabelle! My diabetes is gone!!!

Izzy: Me too!!! Now we aren't different. We are the same.

Me: You were both special before diabetes and you are both still very special.

Izzy: I know. But, wouldn't it be nice if my diabetes really was gone?

Me: Yes baby...it would be.

I love you Isabelle. Sometimes your sweet heart and whirling mind break my heart.

Blog Relationship Survey

I saw this posted in another blog that I read from time to time. Swing by and fill it out if you get the chance. Some of the questions made me think.

http://www.blogrelationships.blogspot.com/

The pillow

Last weekend (yes...can you tell I have had a lot to say but no time to blog?) Izzy wondered upstairs and was gone for a while. She was very quiet so it was a bit concerting. Mom and I called to her and she said that she would be right down.

She came down the stairs and her angelic voice rang down the hall. "Mommy! Look at me! I'm a pillow. "

She had taken two pillowcases off of some pillows and had one over her lower half like in a sack race and another one over her head and torso.

Izzy: "You can lay down on me and get comfy now Mommy. I'm a pillow!!!"

Hehehe!

Body Parts

Last weekend my Mom and Dad (Meme and Pawpaw) were here for the weekend to help us celebrate Alex's birthday and the kids being Baptized. At one point during the weekend Pawpaw was holding Alex and Alex was doing the whole Nose, Eyes thing. I really wish you could hear his sweet little voice saying all of the body parts because it is the sweetest ever. So, here it is:

Alex: Eyyyeeeessss

Pawpaw: Yes. Eyes

A: Mouth

P: Yes. Mouth

A: Nose

P: That's right. Nose

A: (while inserting his sweet little finger into Pawpaw's nostril) Boogers

LOL!!! The whole room cracked up. Wish I had that one video. We might even win lots of money with that one.

Happy Birthday Alex!!!

I can't believe it. My baby turned 2 today! He is sooooo sweet. I am still not sure how I ended up with a child that is so sweet. I'm glad that he only turned 2 because he had no idea how lame his birthday was today. LOL! We just hung out at the house and watched t.v. We didn't even make it outside to play. He has spent the day playing and smiling and cuddling with us. As I said...sooooo sweet! I will add a pic to this post as soon as I figure out where my darn cord is to my digital camera.

Did I mention that Alex turned 2 today? Hehehe! I can't believe that my baby is so big. It makes my cry almost daily to remember how little he was only a couple of years ago. It seems like my pregnancy was just yesterday and I remember it so vividly.

We have pretty much decided (at least today that is) that we are finished having children. We really have a lot on our plate with Izzy and her diabetes and Alex being so active and in to everything. It is very sad though to think that I will never get to feel that wonderful feeling of a little one moving around in my womb. And that wonderful feeling when the pregnancy is over and the baby is safely in your arms. All of those wonderful sleepless nights that you get to spend cuddling and holding a sleeping, sweet smelling bundle. I really do miss the time I got to spend with both of my babies in the middle of the night. It was so quiet and peaceful and intimate. I miss feeling that close to them.

Sweet, Sweet Sleep

We have been making great strides in our household. Isabelle has been sleeping through the night again!!!!! Yeah! She stopped sleeping through the night right after she was diagnosed last April. She still isn't doing it every night, but she has done it at least three times in the last week and a half. That is MAJOR progress. I know that I feel better. It is nice to get some uninterrupted sleep.



Things started to get better after Christmas. She HAD to sleep in her own bed because Meme and Pawpaw were sleeping in the Queen size bed. That got the ball rolling. After the holidays were over and everyone left, Isabelle stayed in her bed. I don't know exactly what happened to make her stay in her own bed all night long, but whatever it is I am very thankful!

Hmmmm...

Isabelle surprised me yesterday morning by telling me, "Mommy, I'm not scared of the pump anymore. Maybe I will get one."

What a brave girl. She has been scared of the idea of a pump for a couple of months now, really since I first mentioned it to her. There is a teenager at church who has Type 1 and is on a pump. C has shown Izzy her pump and talked to her about it trying to help her not be afraid. Maybe it is working. We have an Endo appointment on the 22nd of this month. Can't wait to talk to the doctor about a pump. Might help us get her numbers better under control.

Alex's hard day

Little Alex had a hard day today. He woke up cranky and I had to forcibly dress him. Loads of fun for both of us. After dropping Izzy off at pre-school I took him to his first eye doctor appointment. Of course they dialated his eyes. He did not like it. Who could blame him though. I don't like it much either. After waiting for 30 minutes for the dialation to take effect they took him back into the room and check him. They found that he is farsighted in his left eye so we may have to watch out for some eye crossing from him too. The doc wanted us to wait for another 15 minutes to make sure that the difference in his eyes wasn't due to the right eye not being dialated as much so we waited some more. Have I ever mentioned that he NEVER sits still? It was a long visit. We finally got finished and left. I had some sunglasses for him, but he wouldn't leave them on. Thankfully it was a little overcast today.



When we left we had to go to get Isabelle and take her something else for lunch. Her pre-school called just as we were going into Alex's appointment saying that her blood sugar was 301 and she was hungry. I told them to give her the pepperoni and cheese that I had packed for her lunch and that I would bring her something else for lunch. I stopped to get her something and Alex didn't want to get out of the car. He had a screaming fit about it and I just carried him into the grocery store and grabbed what I needed and checked out as quickly as possible. When we got back to the van he threw another fit because he didn't want to get in his seat. I strapped him in anyway as we were trying to beat the clock.



We finally got to the school a little later then we should have been there and he threw another fit about getting out of the van again. I think he just wanted to fall asleep. We went in and gave Isabelle her insulin and back out to the van again. Another screaming fit about getting back into the car seat. By this point I was really feeling sorry for him, but was also ready to scream myself. We made it home and I put him down for his nap after some cuddling and rocking. He slept for 2 1/2 hours. I didn't have the heart to wake him up. He woke up in a much better mood even though his beautiful blue eyes were still dialated.



Alex ended his day by telling his Daddy and I a joke.



Alex- Why chicken cross the road Mommy?





M-I don't know Alex, why did the chicken cross the road?



A- Get to the other side.



Repeat with Daddy and then again with Mommy at least 20 times before he went to bed.



LOL!!!! What a trooper. It is so nice to have a child that goes with the flow.

Quicky's Redemption

Major drama today. I was cleaning the kitchen and getting ready for dinner this evening and I decided that poor Quicky needed clean water. I didn't mention this out loud as the last few times Isabelle has wanted to 'help'. It makes things much harder when you are changing the water so I kept my mouth shut.

Things started smoothly. I transfered Quicky (yes...Isabelle named him) along with some very yucky water to another container and cleaned his tank and the rocks and plant in it. I filled the tank with clean water and put the water conditioner in. Then I got water started for spaghetti and continued tidying up the kitchen. When I thought that the clean water was at room temperature and Quicky would not go into shock I decided to put him into his freshly cleaned tank. This is when the drama truely began.

I emptied most of the gross yucky water into the sink and a horrible thought crossed my mind...what would happen if Quicky decided not to cooperate and he started flipping around? I shoudl really be doing this with the sink plugged. Stupid me didn't stop and plug the sink and wouldn't you know it, the darn fish started flipping around and he flipped out of my hand and down the drain!!!! I gasped in horror. Isabelle popped up and asked me what was wrong.

At this point I had my hand in the garbage disposal as far as it would go trying to find the darn fish. Izzy walked around the corner into the kitchen and saw me with my hand in the sink, looking frantic. After searching through the muck I finally gave up and told her that Quicky was in the sewer and he was finding new friends.

She totally freaked! She started crying and wailing and asked me what happened. I explained what had happened and she said that she wanted to talk to Daddy. NOW! I was trying to calm her down, she was almost hysterical at this point, so I grabbed the phone and using the speed dial called Thomas. Isabelle said that she wanted to tell him what happened so I put her on the phone. Of course he couldn't understand what she was saying because she was frantic. I took the phone and explained what had happened. He didn't quite know what to say. I gave the phone back to Isabelle planning our trip to Pet Smart to replace the fish.

I started to put the tank away and picked up the sponge that had been left on the counter and was about to put it back into the sponge basket that is on the side of my sink. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something strange in the basket and decided (thank God) to take the couple of seconds to see what it was. It was Quicky!!!! I grabbed that basket off of the sink and screamed, "It's Quicky!!!! He's here. I found him." I dumped him back into his tank and low and behold the darn fish started swimming around glad to be in the water again.

I have no idea how he lasted that long. The whole situation couldn't have takend longer then 3 minutes, but man, how long can a fish out of water last??? I'm still wondering if he will make it through the night. He is a fish with 9 lives.

By the way...Izzy took that picture of Quicky. :)

Brotherly Love

My kids are like every other set of siblings out there. Sometimes they just absolutely love each other and other times they can't stand the sight of one another. We have been having lots of sibling rivalry lately. Mostly consisting of screaming fits because Alex is in Isabelle's way and she can't watch the t.v.. Then there are the fights because Isabelle takes EVERYTHING that Alex ever picks up. One of those ended with Alex biting Isabelle on the arm. I felt bad that I had to punish him for that...Izzy really did have it coming.

After dealing with the fighting on a daily basis it is amazing when something like this happens.

First a little background. Those of you who know us know that we deal with Type 1 Diabetes on a daily basis since Isabelle has it. Alex was just over a year old when Isabelle was diagnosed. I have often felt like sweet little Alex has been put on the back burner the last 10 months while we have been dealing with learning the ins and outs of this disease. He has had a front row seat. He has often been in my lap as I draw up insulin or give Isabelle her injections or check her finger. I never realized how much he has taken in.

Recently as I stated before, there has been quite a bit of sibling rivalry going on around our house. I know that Alex really wants more of Mommy's attention. He is on my lap every chance he gets. I really even think that his recent interest in t.v. is because it is a time that he can sit in my lap and enjoy some time without inturruption. The other day I was sitting at the table writing down something to do with Izzy's diabetes when Alex climbed into my lap and grabbed Izzy's test kit off of the table and said "Check finger Mommy." I of course that it was charming and sweet. Isn't it nice to want to be so much like your sister that you want to have your finger checked too? Then, one evening we were in the living room and I was giving Izzy her insulin shot which was very trying since she was screaming and fighting me about it, Alex was sitting right next to her and when I got done Alex said, "Mommy insulin shot too!" I asked him to repeat what he said. He repeated it. I didn't know what to say. I told him that he didn't need insulin shots.

The next day Alex found the play doctor's kit. What does every kids doctors kit have in it? A shot. He pulled it out and put it to his little leg and said "Owww!!!!! Insulin shot Mommy! Hurt. Owwww!!!!" I almost fell over. I told him that they don't always hurt. He walked around with that shot for a few days.

Last weekend we were all in the car and Izzy's diabetes kit was on the seat next to Alex. I guess he was bored so he stared pulling things out. He grabbed the notebook that I write all of her meals, carbs, and insulin shots in and he was looking at it. I asked him what he was doing and he said, " Figuring out Mommy." That is what I say when I am trying to figure out how much insulin to give Isabelle. I can't freaking believe how smart and how sweet he is. He is so empathetic. I can't believe how much he worries about his sister. He often tells me in the morning that Izzy is crying if she has been up during the night crying.

I hope that Isabelle knows some day what a wonderful brother she has and how much he loves her. I have two brothers and it is hard for me to believe that either of them would want to take an insulin shot for me if I had to have them. I am so blessed to have two such wonderful children. Thank you God for my wonderful family.

Flushed Away

It seems around this house that anything having to do with toilets is loads of fun. Alex discovered the t.v. just before Christmas while the movie Flushed Away was on. He continually asks over and over again, "Watch Flushed Away! Watch Flushed Away Mommy!" His absolute favorite part is when Roddy gets flushed down the toilet. He is so funny to watch. He sits very still (anyone who knows him knows that this is NOT like him at all) and his head moves when the toilet paper hits him in the face and then he shakes his head No when the fish asks if he has seen his Dad. I crack up every time I see him. He will sit through everything up to the flushing part, but after that he is off running around.

He also loves to play with the Potty Time Elmo. He likes to make Elmo pee pee on the potty. He flushes every toilet he can get his hands on. Multiple times.

You would think with all of this potty talk that he would be interested in actually going to the potty. After bath the other night he pooped in the tub while I was helping Isabelle get dressed. While I was getting that cleaned up he ran off and peed and pooped in his bedroom on some big floor pillows. Lovely. Maybe next time the poop will go in the potty and be Flushed Away!

A New Year

I know I've been a bit on the invisible side in the OC. I'm sorry to say that it probably won't get much better anytime soon. I have decided to try and simplify my life so that our little corner of the world can be a little more relaxed and happy this year. It seems crazy to me that my life as a stay at home Mom is so stressful. I don't think that it has to be this way.

Last year was a very hard year for us as was the year before. This year will be different. I'm counting on it.

It has already started off with a bang.

The kids were well for about 3/4 of December (including the holidays) and it has snowed here TWICE!!! All would probably still be well, but I got sick and then of course Izzy got it. But, it seems to have been relatively short lived and I think that she will be back at pre-school in the morning.

Thomas actually put the kids to bed (yes...you read that right...multiple kids) at least 4 times. Gee...things happen differently when mommy can't get out of bed. Alex is now in a big boy bed and he is doing really well with it. He would probably be heading for potty training if I had the energy and I could keep Isabelle out of the way.

Isabelle is back to not wanting to get her shots. I guess this is something that we will have to go through from time to time. It seems to be sort of a cycle with us. We have another endo appointment in February and I am planning on talking to the doctor about a pump at that time. I'll see how Izzy feels about it when the time comes. Boy...it sure would be nice not to have to worry about giving her all of those shots every day. It's hard sometimes not to get upset when she is running from you and begging you not to give her a shot.

Isabelle had her 4 year old well check up last week and the doctor was very pleased with her progress. She has done a lot of growing the last year. For what is probably the first time in her life she is well past the 10% of everything on the growth charts. She is still petite, but she is within the normal range.

So enough rambling. I will try to get back soon with some fun little stories of the kiddies. Don't forget about me out there...I am still here. And Scott(if you are out there)...I swear I will get around to the meme sometime soon. :)