First Day of School

She wasn't excited at all. Can you tell?

Isabelle started her first day of Pre-K on Monday. She is at a new school. It was a really hard decision for Thomas and I to make. We had to decide weather to send her back to our Church Pre-school program for a 4 day, half day program or to send her to a lottery funded 5 day all day pre-k. We decided to go with the lottery funded pre-k for a few different reasons.

When we were getting close to pre-k I started to get excited because where I am from all of the lottery funded pre-k programs are run through the school system. Or at least they were when my nephew went though the program about 9 years ago. To me that meant that there was a possibility of a school nurse being there and that made me feel a little more comfortable. As I started the process of researching the pre-k programs in our area I found out that they are all in day care centers. I couldn't believe it. After calling the 2 centers closest to our house I found out that one of them had experience with Type 1. My goal was to get her into that program. Long story short, she ended up on their waiting list. I was bummed. I went ahead and secured her a position in our church pre-school that she has been in since she was 2.

Then when the kids were at my Mom's at the end of May I was driving past a lottery funded pre-k program that had a sign out front that said that they were enrolling. Not to mention that just under that sign they were advertising that they were NAEYC Accredited. I went in and looked around and talked to the Director and the Owner and signed her up. That is where she is now.

I went in the week before school started to meet with her teacher and her assistant teacher and to train everyone on what they would need to do to take care of Isabelle. This is the first time I have had to 'train' anyone on how to give Isabelle insulin and how to use our pump.

The meeting went well, but I could sense some apprehension. But I had to keep remembering that ANYONE would feel apprehension when they were learning how to take care of a child with d. God knows I did. They asked me to come to school with her the first day so that I would be there to work everything out. I agreed to do that but also warned them that I might have to bring Alex with me as babysitters are few and far between. Oh yeah...the director made a comment during the meeting that she didn't think that licensing would allow them to give insulin. I said that they would have to. The one thing that makes the whole situation more difficult is that they feed the children while they are there. Two snacks and lunch.

The first day went pretty well. One of my mommy friends B. kept Alex for me for the entire day. Thank you B!!! That definitely made things easier. I went in with her and we got started. Isabelle liked her new friends. I went and met with the women who prepares the food. I took the menu (they actually gave it to me when I signed her up) and we went over it together. I figured out carb counts as closely as I could and copied it for everyone. I walked her teachers through checking her finger and giving her boluses that day. Everything seemed to be working out OK, but when we came in from playing outside before lunch they missed Isabelle saying that she was very tired and hungry. That is Izzy speak for I am LOW. I had told them this verbally and in writing at our meeting. I told them that they needed to go ahead and check her now instead of waiting the 10 minutes until lunch. They did and she was low. We treated her and everything was fine. It did bug me that they didn't notice her feeling tired and hungry.

After that first day I told Isabelle that she would have to make sure that if she felt bad at all that she needed to take one of her teachers by the hand and tell them that she was not feeling well so that they could check her finger. She said that she would, but who wants to give a 4 year old that kind of responsibility? One of the things that I hate the most about D is that it makes my little girl grow up more quickly in ways that I don't want her to.

The second day was really her first day without Mommy. It went great!!! Ms. R. and I have quickly developed a system of her calling me whenever she checks Isabelle. That way I can help her decided how much insulin to give her and she gets confirmation on what she is doing so that she doesn't mess anything up (her words not mine).

Izzy has been in school for 4 days now and it is going really great! The teachers have had to handle a couple of lows and they did really great. I feel much more relaxed then I have in I don't even remember how long. I have spent my days with Alex which I think has helped me feel more relaxed because I feel that he is finally getting some of the mommy time that he has not been able to have because of Izzy having D. When she was in the church pre-school she was only there 3 days a week and only there 4 hours out of the day. We had so many problems last year that we ended up spending a LOT of time at the school so he really didn't get much time with me. That has all changed.

Now that I am a bit more relaxed maybe I will be able to get back to blogging on a semi-regular basis.

Our First Anniversary

Our first anniversary. I never thought a whole year would pass. In some ways it passed quickly. The children are growing way too fast and I see and feel that passing by way too quickly. On the other hand I remember what happened 1 year ago today. 1 year ago today our lives changed forever.

I don't think that I will forget that day for as long as I live. As soon as the doctor walked into the room I knew something was really, really wrong. I could tell by his face. Those words. The words that came out of his mouth. How I wish he could have been wrong. "Isabelle has Diabetes. You are going to have to take her to the Emergency Room." Just that simple. He should have said...'By the way, your entire life is going to change and you are going to have to stick needles in your child at least 4 times a day not to mention checking her blood sugar via finger pricks every two hours.' That would have been more to the point. Of course I bet he was just trying to get out of the room without making me cry. I still remember calling my husband and telling him what was going on and where to meet us. I remember calling my Mom and asking her to please get in the car (although she had just gotten home after a trip herself) and come over so that someone could be there to take care of Alex. I remember calling Sheila and telling her what was going on. I still remember coming home and hurriedly packing a bag for myself, my husband and Isabelle for a stay in the hospital for at least a few days; the whole time worrying that I was taking too long. I still remember the frantic drive to the children's hospital with two sick children in the car. I remember calling one of the mom's from my mom's group and asking her to post and tell everyone what was going on. I remember getting to the hospital emergency room and being extremely thankful that my husband was there and that they had valet parking. I still remember that Isabelle fell asleep on the ride to the hospital and I didn't know if I should wake her up or let her sleep. I also remember that when Thomas took Izzy out of her car seat she had peed in her pants. I remember being glad that she was asleep because she would have been really upset about that. I remember thinking that I would never remember all of the information that they were throwing at us.

I'm sure there's more, but I'm sure if you have read this far you are tired of reading. :)

I wasn't really sure what to expect of our first anniversary. Things have gotten easier. Taking care of Isabelle is more automatic then it was a year ago. I hope that with more time it will get even more automatic. We'll see what the future brings.

I told Isabelle what today was and I asked her if she remembered not having diabetes. She told me that she did. She also said that she remembers the nice nurse that gave her the yellow care bear. We went out to eat at Moe's tonight for our anniversary.

A year and a day ago...

One year ago yesterday we spent our time doing whatever we wanted. If we wanted to go to the park we went. We were not ruled by a clock or by a schedule. We did not know about counting carbs or about Humalog or Lantus. We didn't know about the Red Glucagon kit. We didn't know about blood sugar meters.

Boy...how things have changed.

Wishing Stars

As I was reading Isabelle a story at bedtime tonight she was looking through a small box of play jewelry that she had. She pulled out a couple of plastic stars that used to be part of a bracelet. She handed one to me.

Izzy: Mommy, you can wish on this star

Me: (in a hurry because it was late) Ok. I closed my eyes and acted like I was making a wish.

Izzy: Mommy, you need to make a wish that my diabetes will be done.

Me: That's a great idea. I wish that Isabelle's diabetes was cured and that all of the children and adults in the world who have diabetes would be cured too.

Izzy: Mommy, my diabetes is gone!!!! Thank you for that wish.

Izzy: Now you be my friend with diabetes. You tell me that your diabetes is gone too.

Me-Pretending to be C. from church: Isabelle! My diabetes is gone!!!

Izzy: Me too!!! Now we aren't different. We are the same.

Me: You were both special before diabetes and you are both still very special.

Izzy: I know. But, wouldn't it be nice if my diabetes really was gone?

Me: Yes baby...it would be.

I love you Isabelle. Sometimes your sweet heart and whirling mind break my heart.

Children with Diabetes and Halloween

So our first Halloween with this disease is approaching. Isabelle started getting really excited about Halloween last year so this year she has been counting down the days. I don't know if it really is the candy or just being out after dark with Mom and Dad all dressed up in a costume, but she is excited.

All of that candy gives us another problem. How do I get rid of all of that candy without huge fits and without adding another 5 or 10 lbs to my butt and hips? Thomas can only take so much candy to the office. I was surfing around in the d-world and I found the d-bloggers on d-life. I found a link to a newspaper article about a department store in Pennsylvania (I think) that takes candy from children with diabetes and gives them a free toy in exchange. How cool is that!!!!! http://www.republicanherald.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18934521&BRD=2626&PAG=461&dept_id=532624&rfi=6

Now I ask you...why can't every department store in this wonderful land of ours do this? How much money can it really cost them? I can only imagine the good press they would get out of this. Does anyone who reads this blog know of any other places that do this? I am working on writing Toys-R-Us, K-Bee Toys, Wal-Mart, Target, and K-Mart about starting this kind of campaign. Even if it is only a $5.00 toy wouldn't that be great? I haven't had any time to research this on the web to see if there are more programs out there, but I hope to get that done in the next few days. Maybe next Halloween will be different for a lot of boys and girls with d.

When will I be able to relax?

Now that we are dealing with this disease I often wonder when will I ever feel relaxed? Will it ever happen again? I was driving home today from a playgroup and lunch out with our playgroup friends and I passed a swimming pool. I almost instantly remembered the feeling of laying next to a calm pool in the warm sun and not thinking about anything. Falling asleep without a care in the world other then do I have enough sunscreen on. I don't think I will ever feel that way again. I was just getting to the point with Isabelle that I felt like I didn't have to watch her ever single minute of the day. She was getting old enough for me to feel comfortable with taking a nice long shower without having to stress out about leaving her alone too long. Now that feeling of relief is gone. It has been replaced by anxiety. Constant anxiety.

The kids have both finally been sleeping though the night again (Thank God!!) but I still find myself either waking up and worrying about Isabelle and if she is too low or too high or dreaming funky dreams about her or about running away from whatever is chasing me. Let me take a big guess what that is. I have to say that I am really, really, really thankful to my husband and to God that I don't have to work right now. I think if I had one more thing on my plate that I would never be able to rest.

Sorry about this post. I know that it isn't all that uplifting or even very interesting. I just needed to vent and I am kind of hoping that some of you D parents out there can give me a little feedback on how long it is before you can stop stressing completely about your child. I know that I will always worry about her and it will always be there. I'm just hoping that I can get to relax a little sometime soon. We are headed for the beach this weekend so I hope that will help.

Ice and Diabetes

Lately whenever Izzy's blood sugar is out of whack she asks for ice. She tells me that her teeth hurt and the ice makes them feel better. Tonight as I was putting her to bed I gave her a bowl of ice and she was happily munching away as I was reading the Lorax. When I got done she told me that the ice was going to make her diabetes go away. I told her that I didn't think that the ice would do anything for the diabetes. She again told me that it would take it away.

Then she asked me, "Where is my diabetes?"

I pointed to her tummy and said, "In there."

Izzy: "ohhh...that's not good."

Me: "I know...that's not good."

Sometimes she really makes me want to cry. Actually that has happened a lot today. We have been talking a lot about being brave with her shots and not crying and running away and wiggling. She actually took two shots without crying. Yeah! That is progress. I hope it continues.

Another Izzyism:

We have been reading the Lorax quite a bit lately. She has told me a couple of times that she is a Bar-B-Loot. She has crummies in her tummy. She is too cute!!!

Crazy blood sugars

Crazy blood sugars again today. We keep getting lows and sometimes they are hard to get up. They start out being between the 50's and the 70's and sometimes don't go up until the third try. It makes me nervous because among our many directions from the Endocrinologist is to call immediately if you can not raise a low blood sugar after 3 tries. Today when I checked her blood sugar for the third time the meter read 557. I didn't even know the meter went that high. I almost freaked!!!! Then I remembered that she probably had something sweet on her hands since I had given her sugar tablets to bring up her blood sugar and I might not have washed them good enough. Thank god when I read it again it was 136. Yahoo!

Yucky Day

Last night Isabelle went to bed around 8:00 and by a little after 9:00 she was complaining about her tummy hurting and that she was hungry. I went upstairs with the meter and checked her blood sugar...60. It's supposed to be between 80 and 180. Back downstairs to get some juice and a snack. She finished the juice and it still 74. She wouldn't eat the snack that I brought her and she was complaining about her stomach hurting. I went back downstairs for more juice. Finally it was up to 83. Thank God. I stayed with her for a little while and read another story and then she finally fell asleep around 10:30. I set the alarm for 2:00am to get up and check on her blood sugar again. We didn't make it that far.

At around 12:30 I was asleep and Isabelle came into the bedroom complaining that she was wet and that her bed was all wet. Thomas went in to check on the situation and I heard him say something to the effect of "Oh No!" and I was up. She had thrown up all over the bed. And it looked bad because she had pizza for dinner and some of the juice that I had given her when she had the low BS was red. Lovely. Sweet Thomas stripped the bed while I got Izzy into some new jammies and into the bed in the guest room. I checked her blood sugar and it was 85. That wasn't too bad. But, she wasn't done throwing up. Lovely. She finally crashed sometime after 1:00am and I got to sleep a little after 2:00am. I slept with her because I felt like I needed to be close by in case she started throwing up again and so I could check her blood sugar easily if I woke up again. We both luckily slept all night and so did Alex.

So, today didn't start until around 9:00am when it is usually starting between 7:00am and 8:00am. She has kept everything down today, but it has been a total battle to get her to eat anything. She has mostly eaten fruit so I guess that is ok. Her blood sugar has been all over the place today. We have had at least 2 lows and 1 high. It's almost time for her to go to bed. I hope tonight goes better then last night.

I have felt so helpless today. Izzy obviously was not feeling so great today and I don't think that she felt so great yesterday either. Now that I think back about yesterday she told me quite a few times that she didn't feel good. I thought that she was being a drama queen because she was at preschool yesterday and I am sure that everyone was cautious about her diabetes. I guess I should learn to listen to her better. Some of the info that I got from the Endocrinologist says to call whenever they vomit. So I called them first thing this morning. They just said to keep a close eye on her blood sugars, make sure that she doesn't get dehydrated and to call back if she vomits again.

It's just been such a stressful day. Alex hasn't been himself today either. He has been really clingy. He actually sat with me in the chair just playing with a small toy and cuddling with me for at least 30 minutes. He never does that. He is getting some new teeth in and I think that is what is wrong with him. On top of all of that the DSL has been acting up so Thomas called Bell South last night and they were supposed to come today to check things out. I had to be here from 1-5 and they never showed up. The only phone in the house that is working is the phone in the kitchen on the wall so whenever the phone rings today I have had to stop what I was doing and run into the kitchen. Totally annoying especially since it has been quite a day. The phone guy called around 2:30 to tell us that he was on his way and to see if anyone was there. I didn't answer it because I was upstairs and didn't hear it. He never showed up. Really pissed me off. GRRRRRR!!!! Add frustration to an already crazy day. Hopefully Izzy will feel better tomorrow and we can see some friends.

So many new things

It seems like for the last three weeks everything has been new. We are all learning about how to deal with diabetes and how it effects Isabelle. And on Wednesday of this week I took Isabelle in to see the Pediatric ophthalmologist and they gave her glasses. So now we are dealing with a 3 year old with diabetes who has to have her blood sugar tested at least 4 times a day; which actually tends to be more like 8 times a day and the subsequent shots who seems to have figured out that when she eats she has to get a shot which has not helped the eating situation. Now we are supposed to get her to wear her glasses so that she can correct her lazy eye. She does not want to wear them. That makes me say to her at least a 100 times a day..."Put your glasses on." "You need to wear your glasses." or something of that sort. So much fun. She did get to pick out her frames and was very excited about them until she put them on. The prescription is really strong...the girl at the eyeglass place was surprised that this was her first pair with this prescription. She is very cute in them though. If only I could get her to wear them, but I am also thinking that this is just one thing too many right now. Today I took the day off from bugging her about her glasses...I told her to put them on once then not again. I think I will let her go for a couple of days and then start again.

Thomas kept the kids today so that I could get out. Friday was bad so I really needed some time to myself. It was nice to sit and have lunch all by myself without having to talk to anyone or do anything for anyone. Everyone needs a break now and then. I do worry though that Thomas doesn't get enough of a break.

I have found quite a few new websites about diabetes and some interesting blogs. It's nice to know that there are other people out there that are dealing with the same things that we are dealing with. I do feel really sad that she has to go through this and that she is going to have to do it for the rest of her life. I am trying to wait patiently for the day that she won't scream and cry about getting her shots. I hope it is soon. It is really hard to take sometimes.

Sorry this post is so blah...I'll think of something cute to write about the next time.

Isabelle's hospital stay

Ok...I'm trying to move into the computer age so I thought I would start a Blog. I have been spurred on by my friend Sheila. She has a blog and I love reading it.

I started to create this blog a little over a week ago and I got kind of sidetracked.

Last Monday, April 2 my sweet little daughter Isabelle got sent to the hospital. She was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Totally threw me for a loop. I took her to the pediatrician because she was peeing all the time and really thirsty. She had what we thought was the stomach flu and I just thought that she was dehydrated. While we were at the peds they did a blood test and the doctor came back in and told me that she had Diabetes and that I had to take her to the emergency room at the children's hospital. He said that we would be there for at least 2 days so that we could learn to take care of Izzy. I called my Mom first thing and told her that I needed her to come over asap. Then I called my hubby and told him to meet us at the hospital. We were crazy. Alex was sick with throwing up and diarrhea so I couldn't ask any of my mommy friends to keep him so we had to take him to the hospital with us. We got to the hospital a little before 5:00 and we were finally put in a room a little after 8:00. Thomas was about to go home with Alex when my Mom showed up. Isabelle was so excited to see her Meme that it really helped her to not be so freaked out.

Thomas and I spent the next 2 days in the hospital with Isabelle taking classes to learn how to manage her diabetes. My Mom took care of Alex and stayed with Isabelle in the hospital while Thomas and I were in class. I don't know what I would have done without my Mom. It helped not having to worry too much about Alex.

Isabelle will have to have insulin shots for the rest of her life unless they find a cure. We have to check her blood sugar via finger prick at least 4 times a day and she gets shots after every meal and at least 1 before bedtime. It is really hard to have to give your child a shot every day. Especially when she is crying and screaming for you not to do it. Isabelle thought that she would not have to have shots any more after she got home. I'm so sorry that it wasn't true.